Week 8 ~ Vietnam Part 3 ~ Perspectives
- Mary Kate gKing
- May 9
- 12 min read
The week of perspectives.
Here I was, within my first five minutes in Ninh Binh, hopping on the back of a grab, where me and my bags outweighed the driver and his scooter, looking back over my shoulder, yelling to my husband, figure it out, I’ll see you at the hotel!
Thankfully, at our own pace, we both made it to the hotel safely, despite the risk of a sneeze ending it all while on the moped.
As always, the journey itself is always an adventure.
Ninh Binh: One of the most beautiful places I’ve EVER traveled to, and didn’t know existed 2 weeks ago.
While some only make time for a quick day trip to Ninh Binh, I was so grateful to have 3 full days to explore the area. On our first full day, we were able to walk, run, and bike around the beautiful landscape. I’ll let the pictures take it from here, but let me say this… going for a bike ride through Ninh Binh needs to be added to everyone’s bucket list.
Week 8, The Week of Perspective.
Nothing fosters sharing perspectives quite like an intimate full-day tour with an Israeli, two Russians, Americans, Moroccans, Filipinos, and Vietnamese. Imagine what that family-style lunch was like!
That is what is so intriguing about travel. You get the opportunity to meet so many people with different cultural backgrounds. Some who share similar outlooks on life, and sometimes completely different outlooks based on their own unique experiences from all over the world. Some interactions validate stereotypes. Some change your perspective. And some completely rock your frame, completely changing your perspective and how you will forever look at things.
During our full day tour, we explored the Trang An River via boat. These were small boats without engines, so Nick was called to clock in for work.
After the boat tour, we made our way to Mua Cave to visit the “mini great wall” as our guide liked to call it. We climbed 500 steps to bring ourselves to an adult jungle gym with great views.
Let me tell you, the views were worth it. The only thing more impressive than the views, were the amount of girls who climbed up to the top in heels and satin dresses in 90 degree heat with makeup still perfect.
The stacking of liberation and labor day definitely brought more crowds to Mua Cave and Ninh Binh, a popular destination for people living in Hanoi to travel to for a long weekend. Getting to experience the cultural celebrations associated with liberation day, was an incredible surprise and worth all the crowds and chaos.
While I typically prefer to be in smaller towns and nature, the crowds of Vietnamese flocking to Ninh Binh actually brought a lively celebratory environment. We even stumbled upon a two day festival with multiple live performances involving music and dance.
I sent one of the videos to my friend Kim, who helped translate what was being said in this video. V
So beautiful. Thank you, Kim, for the translation!
With this week focusing on perspective, my best friend and I decided the best way to share the ‘funny story of the week’ would be through sharing both of our perspectives from the event. Although, I didn't really find it too funny.
We’ll start with the more direct, neutral, non-dramatic storyteller first, me. ;)
Okay, so here is the story. We were staying in this BEAUTIFUL eco lodge in Pu Luong, Vietnam. It’s an eco lodge in a remote jungle area of Vietnam that overlooks rice paddies. I mean, look at how breathtaking this scenery is.
Our eco lodge received extremely high ratings on multiple booking platforms. This ecolodge hosts many yoga retreats with their open-air deck and yoga studio, having views like this…
We arrived in the afternoon and hung out by the pool all evening. At dinner, I had gone back to grab a sweatshirt by myself. This was where things started to shift.
Movement. That is what I saw at of the corner of my eye as I reached for a sweatshirt in our room. Belting out a gut-wrenching moan after spotting a mini cockroach on the move, I swiftly grabbed the indoor sandal and smashed it. Splat. Relief. Guilt for the murder of la cucaracha, at an eco lodge nonetheless, and simultaneously disturbed that it was in our room. Back to dinner.
I told Nick in passing, and we returned to the room. I began convincing myself that this was just a one off experience. We were staying in a tranquil eco lodge, and there were going to be a few bugs here and there. This is all a part of staying in nature. I’ve camped before, I can do this.
To help provide better visuals for the remainder of this story. Here are some more pictures of our lodge and room. Welcome to MTV Cribs.
Nick’s shower before bed might have been what set them off. But all of a sudden, there are multiple big boys crawling around our bathroom. I was DISTURBED. Truly my worst nightmare. Nick had me wait in our room while he killed 3 in the bathroom. I was distraught trying to channel my inner zen (the zen was not able to be manifested).
I was preparing for war. As my dad often says before we go to bed down at the river, “we need to batten down the hatches”. Tres cucacarachas was like the increase in winds, and the first few raindrops before a massive storm. At the bay house, we quickly run to bring the tubes up, pull the kayaks further back from the waterline, and put up the screens. At 10:00pm, it was zipping every zipper for every bag, tying d-knots on our laundry bag, and ensuring there was no nook or cranny that wasn’t searched. Nick stayed in the bathroom a little while longer to inspect, then completed a brief inspection before we got into bed.
I crawled into bed under the mosquito net. With my flashlight, I was checking the bed and perimeter. Half joking, half serious. I then flash my flashlight around on the mosquito net, then look up. ----- There was a freaking cockroach INSIDE the mosquito net above our flippen heads!!!------ So naturally, I go into complete panic mode, jump out of bed, and am actually about to throw up. Obviously, trying to catch and kill those little heat demons is much harder than it appears.
He doesn’t catch it on the first try. I’ve spiraled into full-blown panic mode. Nick on the move. Cucarachas on the move. Me standing very still, practicing deep breathing.
All I could think about was how to get out of there. (Mind you, the staff notified us that because it is such a remote area, there is no taxi / uber equivalent). So basically, we’re stuck.
Headlamp on, Nick eventually kills it. I insist the rest of the bed has to be checked, and the mosquito net needs to be tucked under the bed. Nick is on one side, and I’m on the other. I do the one thing you should never do in a hotel. I checked under the bed.
I still baby barf when I think about it. I had lifted the corner of the bed to tuck the mosquito net in & bam another flippen cockroach big boy staring back at me. I ran away and screamed something along the lines… well, you can imagine what was said at this point of the evening.
Nick patiently and empathetically asked, “Do you want to leave? What do you want to do?” While I wanted to say yes, I knew it was nearly impossible to leave this place at that time of night. So I stood in the middle of our bungalow room, fighting back tears as Nick inspected the rest of the bed and room. I couldn’t even get into bed right away and turn off the lights. Eventually, I made it to the bed, but I was sitting up in bed, deep breathing as Nick rubbed my back. I tried to express to Nick, “I’m genuinely living my worst nightmare right now”.
Eventually, I was so tired I fell asleep, fully clothed, with my head on Nick's chest bc I didn’t trust the pillows. I hardly slept, with every dream having some version of cockroaches crawling all over me.
The next day, Nick asked if I wanted to leave. I said yes, but I felt like it was a little dramatic, and he confirmed it was dramatic LOL. He reassured me, “they can’t hurt you”. - Maybe not physically, but my soul felt different.
Basically, we agreed to see how we felt after breakfast, and I loved the rest of the place so much, I decided to overcome my fears, under one condition. Well, a few conditions. We kept the AC on all day to freeze out the roaches, and Nick had to complete a nightly inspection and be my protector anytime the water was on.
The first people contacted after this experience were my college roommates, Rachel & Elana. They were the first to witness a full spiral over a cockroach many years ago. We discovered I had a heightened fear of roaches after a wild story involving rain boots, bleach, a lighter, and a strongly worded email.
These aren’t the only two stories I’ve ever had with dramatic encounters with roaches. My coworkers at VCU know how disturbed I was mid-bathroom break when I discovered we had an infestation in the staff restroom. The Rady’s nurses definitely know how I handled (or didn’t handle) the cucaracha infestation that lasted months.
I recognize that my response might be a little more extreme than others. What can I say? Some people are afraid of heights. Some spiders. Some fear apocalypse bugs. Overall, I’m proud of myself for overcoming this fear, but I hope I never have to do that again.
Fin. LOL.
And Now.... Nick's Perspective:
The above, illustrates how I felt.
You know the scene in the action movies where the good guy puts the silencer on his pistol & goes to town on the bad guys. Pop, pop, turns the corner, pop, and because of the silencer, no one knows what’s happening.
Well, that was me. But first, a bit of context.
It turns out that my wife does not have a normal fear of cockroaches, but something bordering on a phobia. Mary Kate is obviously not a supporter of chemical warfare & napalm, especially with what we have learned here in Vietnam. But, she does have a history of using chemical warfare & fire against invading cockroaches by dumping bleach & lighting on fire.
So, with the scene set, the evening started with excitement as we settled into our little bungalow in the mountains & rice fields of Pu Luoung.
Excitement quickly turned to concern for one of us as a half-dollar sized brown dot scurried across the floor.
Concern turned to terror as another one was spotted.
Two cockroaches had been spotted, and Mary Kate was barely able to keep upright.
Cue – John Wick mode. I grabbed my gun. By that, I mean a flip flop. And I entered the bathroom.
Pop, pop, turn the corner, pop. I killed four cockroaches in the bathroom. Silent kills were of utmost important, because if Mary Kate heard more kills than necessary, it may have put her over the edge.
Well, at least our bed has a mosquito net, so we should be in the clear. You probably know where this is going.
We prepare for bed, Mary Kate is still frightened. We put a headlamp on to scope out the bed. And low & behold, we have another cockroach in the top right corner of the net.
When people think about pressure, they might think about hitting free throws at the end of a basketball game to win the game in March Madness (shoutout Kyle Guy, UVA), they might think about penalty kick number 5 to win the world cup. Those two things pale in comparison to the pressure that I felt here. Roach in the top right corner, if I miss this thing, it will likely scurry down into the bed. And if that happens I have sealed our fate of having to leave this place at 10pm and find somewhere else to stay.
So, I grab two flip flops to crocodile chomp the roach. Mary Kate, quivering in fear outside of the net is again, barely able to stand up. 3, 2, 1, pop. It disappeared. Where did it go? After a minute of looking, confirmed kill on the ground.
So, now we had to make sure the net was extra tucked. Lift up the mattress, another one. Mary Kate was the only one to see this one, so we do not know if she was just seeing things at this point.
Eventually, after this slaughtering, we both kind of slept. We woke up for the sunrise.
The next day, we decided to stay and hope for the best.
The whole day, I would enter the room, and clear the scene. A visual of me going through the room.
Every kill needed to be silent so as to not alert Mary Kate of more of these things.
Ultimately, we survived our two day stay.
That is my perspective.
We eventually made our way to Hanoi. I had never been so excited to leave nature and arrive in a loud, bustling city. Acoustic Hotel Hanoi was the perfect, affordable glam spot to arrive and meet all of my needs.
During our time in Hanoi, we enjoyed exploring the streets of the old town. I had mentioned to Nick that I’d like to at least stop by the extremely popular train street.
As we were walking up, a guy said, “Would you like coffee? Train comes in 5 minutes”. We got a front row seat next to the influencers, live streaming, and eager tourists.
Three minutes until the train arrives. Bells are going off, cafe workers are guiding people to the sides, and moving the tables tightly to the side. We noticed a few people putting the bottle caps of their Hanoi beer on the railway. We were confused why, especially when a young child was putting it on the railway (pictured below).
After the train came by, everyone rushed to clean off their flattened beer caps as their souvenir from the train street. It was cute to watch the excitement from the young backpackers admiring their momento. The train was actually pretty cool, too. I’m thankful we only waited 5 minutes instead of the 90 minutes that our cafe neighbors were waiting.
Now onto our weekly recap of high, low, unexpected, and learned:
Nick:
High: The avatar-like mountains of Ninh Binh
Low: Night 1 of the cockroach fiasco
Unexpected: Having Argentinian beef in Hanoi
Learned: The mountains in Ninh Binh are limestone and have been formed over the course of 50 million years.
MK:
High: Bike ride in Tam Coc, Ninh Binh
Low: You already know lol
Unexpected: Making it to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in Vietnam.
Learned: A rice paddy is a rice field that has raised earth around the border to keep the field flooded with water. This is a common process in growing rice. All rice paddies are rice fields. Not all rice fields are rice paddies.
After spending 21 days in Vietnam, there is one particular thing that will stay with me far after this trip, much longer than the pictures of the beautiful landscape, and that is the people. Their generosity. Their work ethic. Their resourcefulness. Their hospitality. Their resilience.
We’ve been lucky to have longer, more genuine interactions with locals on this trip. Between engaging hosts during our homestay, small group and 1:1 tours, and of course, our three days with Bumblebee. With all of those conversations, we’ve learned a lot about the history, culture, and … perspectives within Vietnam. I know Nick touched on this a bit during his guest post last week, but truly there are drastically different opinions on the country depending on who you talk to and where you are in the country. For example, we had people in the south referring to the Vietnam War as a civil war, people in the central region referring to it as the Vietnam-American war, and people in the north just calling it ‘The American War’. (Could dive way deeper on all of these various perspectives, but will leave it at that. FaceTime me between the hours of 9pm to 9am if you wanna talk more about it😘)
This is the first communist country I’ve visited. But, you know, the people still like to drink beer, sing karaoke, ride motorbikes, eat good food, spend time with friends, some people don't like the government, some people look to the leaders as divine. We are more similar than we are different.
I’m truly grateful for the opportunity to have learned more about this country and gain my own new perspective on life after this visit to Vietnam.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s theme of ~perspective~. As always, thanks for reading!
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Cheers,
Mary Kate & Nick
the cockroach story sounds like a living nightmare...maybe it was karma for snacking on their cousins (crickets) down in Mexico?